Question 1

How do you pronounce 'Hockay'?

Accepted Answer

It is pronounced 'Hockay' or 'Hoqué'. Not 'Hockey'. Not 'Hock-ee'. Not 'Okay'. The Almighty Ice was very clear about this. Press play and commit it to memory.

Question 2

Why are there both men and women playing?

Accepted Answer

The Almighty Ice does not care about gender—biological or expressed—or lack thereof, or multiple of. The Ice demands players. And once playing on The Ice, only Hockay matters. Le Council reminds you that questioning The Ice's decisions is both futile and inadvisable.

Question 3

Where did The Almighty Ice come from?

Accepted Answer

Le Council has no comment at this time. Le Council has never had comment at any time (except when we had comments). Le Council may issue a statement when it deems appropriate. Do not hold your breath. Breathe normally. Watch Hockay.

Question 4

Is Hockay real?

Accepted Answer

There are twenty arenas across six continents. There are players with names and statistics. There are games with scores. There are standings. If this is not real, Le Council would very much like to know what is.

Question 5

How does the season work?

Accepted Answer

Each season spans approximately seven weeks. Twenty teams play a full round-robin—every team faces every other team twice, once home and once away—for 38 matchdays of regular season. Ten games run per matchday starting at 14:00 UITC (also known as 2:00 PM UITC but the Ice thinks in absolute). This is followed by a single-elimination playoff bracket. Two points for a win, one for an overtime loss, zero for a regulation loss. Le Council trusts you can do the arithmetic.

Question 6

What is The Sixth Dimension?

Accepted Answer

During any game, there is a small but non-zero probability that a player entering the penalty box will briefly cease to exist on the ice surface. They reappear eventually—usually within the same game, occasionally not. No returning player has provided a coherent account. Le Council classifies this as an 'Unexplained Ice Phenomenon' and assures you that concern is understandable but misplaced.

Question 7

What are Looneys?

Accepted Answer

Looneys are the official currency of Hockay. They are earned, spent, wagered, and occasionally lost in circumstances Le Council declines to elaborate on. They cannot be exchanged for any sovereign currency. Nor any sovereign currency can be exchanged for Looneys. The Almighty Ice doesn't believe in fiat currencies.

Question 8

What are arena modifiers?

Accepted Answer

Each arena has a unique modifier—a persistent anomaly that affects gameplay in that venue. Some are subtle. Some are not. The Ice placed them there. Le Council did not approve them but has learned to coexist with them. We recommend you do the same.

Question 9

Who runs Hockay?

Accepted Answer

Le Permanent Council du Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena (LPCHUIP) is the governing body. Half sports league, half paranormal investigation unit. Le Council runs the operations. The Almighty Ice runs everything else. The jurisdictional boundaries are, to put it diplomatically, under ongoing negotiation.

Question 10

Can I bet on games?

Accepted Answer

Yes. The betting system accepts Looneys. You may wager on outcomes, spreads, and various propositions. Le Council neither encourages nor discourages this. Le Council notes, however, that The Almighty Ice has been known to render statistical models irrelevant without warning.

Question 11

How do I pick a team?

Accepted Answer

You do not pick a team. You open the teams page, you look at the names, the cities, the colors, and something will feel correct. That feeling is not random. Le Council cannot explain it further. Go with it.

Question 12

Will there be more teams?

Accepted Answer

The Ice appeared in twenty cities. If The Ice decides to appear elsewhere, there will be more teams. Le Council does not control this. Le Council does not pretend to control this.

Question 13

What is The Jambono?

Accepted Answer

The Jambono resurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor—nobody knows which. Between seasons, The Jambono performs The Resurfacing, preparing the league for what comes next. During games, The Jambono has been known to retroactively alter events that already happened. The feed updates. The community notices. Le Council has no official position on whether this constitutes time travel.

Question 14

What is H.O.R.N.?

Accepted Answer

H.O.R.N. stands for the Hockay Official Relay Network. It is the broadcast arm of Hockay—scores, events, conditions, and advisories relayed in real time. If something happens on The Ice, H.O.R.N. announces it. If H.O.R.N. announces something that did not happen on The Ice, Le Council advises you to act as though it did.

Question 15

What happens when a player enters The Sixth?

Accepted Answer

They disappear from the ice surface, usually from the penalty box. They reappear later—changed. Players may return Luminous, Sharp, or Awake. They may also return Foggy, Brittle, or Hollow. Some come back speaking languages no one recognizes. Some come back with more gravity. Le Council tracks all outcomes. Le Council does not explain them.

Question 16

What are player modifiers?

Accepted Answer

Modifiers are conditions applied to players, often as a result of visiting The Sixth Dimension. So far, Le Council has identified the following modifiers and what we think are reliable categories. Positive: (Luminous, Echo, Sharp), negative (Foggy, Brittle, Wandering), ambiguous (Magnetic, Doubled, Ancient), and weird (Translated, Hollow, Tidal). Whether a modifier helps or hurts depends on context. Whether it fades depends on The Ice.

Question 17

What are match modifiers?

Accepted Answer

Before certain games, conditions are imposed on the match itself. Thin Ice slows everyone down. Mercury gives the losing team a growing advantage. Fog blinds the goalies. Double or Nothing doubles everything—points, payouts, consequences. And sometimes, the modifier is Clean Ice, which means nothing unusual will happen. Supposedly.

Question 18

Why is there a team in McMurdo?

Accepted Answer

Why is there a team anywhere? The Almighty Ice appeared in twenty cities. McMurdo was one of them. The Monolith play there. Visiting teams find their aggression suppressed. The penguins may or may not be involved. Le Council is investigating.

Question 19

What does The Puck do?

Accepted Answer

The Puck is also the referee. It is present at every game. It speaks once per season. What it says when it speaks has, historically, been, well, historical. Le Council advises paying attention when The Puck speaks. Le Council advises paying attention at all other times as well.

Question 20

When are games played?

Accepted Answer

Ten games run per matchday, starting at 14:00 UITC (also known as 2:00 PM UITC but the Ice thinks in absolute). Each game lasts roughly one hour—three periods of play. The full slate runs from morning to evening depending on your timezone. Follow along like real sports, because The Almighty Ice insists that it is.

Question 21

What are star ratings?

Accepted Answer

Every player carries a rating from one to five stars. This reflects their base ability as assessed by Le Council's scouting department. Modifiers, arena effects, and the general unpredictability of The Ice mean that a two-star player can outperform a five-star player on any given day. The stars are a guide. The Ice is the authority.

Question 22

How does the playoff work?

Accepted Answer

After 38 matchdays of regular season, the top teams enter a single-elimination bracket. One loss and you are out. Le Council does not offer consolation. The Ice does not offer second chances. Win or watch from the stands.

Question 23

Can I switch teams?

Accepted Answer

Technically, yes. But Le Council has observed that the initial pull toward a team is rarely wrong. Those who switch often find themselves pulled back. The Ice remembers your first choice. Make of that what you will.

Question 24

Is The Almighty Ice spreading?

Accepted Answer

Le Council can neither confirm nor deny this. Le Council notes that the number of Unexplained Ice Phenomena reported outside of arenas has increased by a statistically significant margin. Le Council advises calm. Le Council always advises calm.

Question 25

What timezone are games in?

Accepted Answer

All times in Hockay are expressed in UITC—Universal Ice Time Coordinated. The Almighty Ice does not recognize timezones. It appeared simultaneously across twenty cities and saw no reason to accommodate the arbitrary lines humanity drew across its surface. UITC happens to align with what the uninitiated call UTC. This is not a coincidence. There are no coincidences.

Question 26

What happened five minutes ago?

Accepted Answer

Everything. The Almighty Ice appeared. Twenty arenas materialized. Players were already in jerseys. The rules were already known. It has been approximately five minutes since this happened. It has always been approximately five minutes since this happened. Le Council does not find this concerning.

Question 27

What do I actually do?

Accepted Answer

You watch. You bet. You pick a team and care about them more than is reasonable. You check scores at work. You argue with strangers about whether Displacement is actually a disadvantage. You refresh the feed during a Whiteout and see nothing, because that is the point. Hockay is a spectator sport. You are the spectator. The Ice is the sport.

Question 28

Can I play Hockay?

Accepted Answer

No. Hockay is played by Hockay players. You are not a Hockay player. You are a fan. This is not a demotion. The fans are the point. Without fans, there are no bets. Without bets, there are no Looneys. Without Looneys, Le Council cannot fund its ongoing investigation into Unexplained Ice Phenomena. You are essential. You are just not on the ice.

Question 29

Who are JM and Dot?

Accepted Answer

Jean-Michel 'JM' Laflèche is the play-by-play commentator. He has been calling games since The Ice appeared and treats everything—including things that should not be treated normally—with the steady professionalism of a man who has seen it all. Dot is the color commentator. She has no last name. She occasionally references events that have not yet occurred. Le Council has looked into this. Le Council ended up preferring not looking into this.

Question 30

What happens between seasons?

Accepted Answer

The intersaison lasts one week. The Jambono performs The Resurfacing. Le Council holds elections. Fans contribute Looneys to their teams. Players are drafted. Reality is adjusted. When the next season begins, things may be different. Le Council will inform you of what changed. Le Council will not inform you of why.

Question 31

What is Rest Day?

Accepted Answer

The day after The Final. No games. No announcements. No advisories. The Ice is quiet. The Horn is silent. Le Council recommends sitting with whatever just happened. Le Council will resume operations when it is ready.

Question 32

What makes The Final different?

Accepted Answer

Every regular season game has fifteen-minute periods. The Final has one-hour periods. The game lasts three to four hours. The Puck has more time. The arena has more time. Things that would not normally happen in a regular game have room to happen here. Le Council cannot elaborate. Le Council does not know what will happen. That is the point.

Question 33

Is there a community?

Accepted Answer

There is a Discord. There is a presence on Bluesky. H.O.R.N. broadcasts to both. There is a subreddit if you're into that kind of things. The community argues about modifier effects, tracks player careers, builds spreadsheets, and develops theories about The Ice that Le Council finds alternately fascinating and alarming. You are welcome to join. Le Council is already there. Le Council is always there.

Question 34

Is this like that other thing?

Accepted Answer

Le Council is not aware of any other thing. Le Council is aware only of Hockay. If you are thinking of a specific other thing, Le Council suggests that you stop thinking about it and start thinking about Hockay. The Ice did not come here to be compared.

Question 35

How do I get more Looneys?

Accepted Answer

You receive Looneys upon enrollment. You earn more by betting correctly, logging in daily, and participating in the community. You lose them by betting incorrectly, contributing to your team during the intersaison, and making decisions Le Council cannot prevent you from making. The economy is simple. The emotions are not.

Question 36

How are the odds determined?

Accepted Answer

O.D.D.S.—the Office of Data-Driven Speculation—is the official department of LPCHUIP responsible for all published probabilities. Their methodology is transparent, mathematical, and boring. They are proud of this. The odds reflect player statistics, recent form, arena conditions, and factors their models cannot fully account for. They shift after every completed game as fresh results come in, so a team's odds on their next scheduled game can tighten or lengthen throughout the evening. They are sometimes wrong. This is by design. If the odds were always right, there would be no upsets, and without upsets there would be no stories, and without stories there would be no Hockay. Only Ice.

Question 37

What is O.D.D.S.?

Accepted Answer

O.D.D.S. stands for the Office of Data-Driven Speculation. It is an official department of LPCHUIP, staffed by actuaries, statisticians, and one person who keeps insisting the numbers are 'trying to tell us something' (they are on probation). O.D.D.S. publishes the official odds for every game. Their methodology is transparent, mathematical, and boring. They are proud of this. O.D.D.S. does not speculate. O.D.D.S. calculates.

Question 38

Someone on the Internet mentioned something about O.M.E.N.?

Accepted Answer

O.M.E.N. stands for the Oracle for Mathematical Estimation and Numerology. It is NOT affiliated with LPCHUIP. NOT recognized. NOT endorsed. O.M.E.N. is a rogue group that claims to have developed a method of 'resonating' with The Almighty Ice—or as they insist on calling it, 'reasonating,' a portmanteau they invented and refuse to stop using. They believe the odds published by O.D.D.S. are incomplete because they fail to account for The Ice's intentions. O.M.E.N. publishes their own alternative forecasts, which are sometimes wildly wrong and sometimes unsettlingly accurate. Le Council's official position: Le Council is aware of the organization styling itself 'O.M.E.N.' Le Council does not recognize, endorse, or affiliate with this group. Le Council reminds all participants that The Almighty Ice does not communicate through spreadsheets, crystals, or whatever a 'resonance array' is. Le Council advises participants to rely on O.D.D.S. for official forecasts and to disregard unauthorized numerology.

Question 39

What does UITC stand for again?

Accepted Answer

Universal Ice Time Coordinated. It is the only timezone The Ice recognizes. It happens to correspond exactly to UTC, which Le Council considers a remarkable and entirely non-coincidental alignment. All game times, all advisories, and all official communications use UITC. If your local time differs, that is your problem, not The Ice's.

Question 40

Is The Almighty Ice affiliated with any government agency?

Accepted Answer

No. The Almighty Ice is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or in any way associated with any governmental body, agency, bureau, directorate, or enforcement authority of any nation, whether or not they share an acronym. The Almighty Ice predates all such institutions and does not recognize their jurisdiction, authority, or competence. Le Council has received inquiries about this and finds them tiresome. There is only one Ice. It is Almighty. It plays Hockay. It does not knock on doors.

Question 41

How far does this conspiracy go? Who's involved?

Accepted Answer

Le Council does not entertain conspiracy theories, nor does it endorse the wearing of tin foil hats, aluminum headwear, or any other makeshift cranial shielding. The Ice is not a conspiracy. It is an Unexplained Phenomenon, which is an entirely different category—one that Le Council is uniquely qualified to investigate and selectively ignore. As for who is involved: Le Permanent Council du Hockay operates with full transparency within the boundaries of what it has decided to be transparent about. The identities of its members remain glacified—not out of secrecy, but out of an abundance of caution for their personal safety. The Ice attracts attention. Not all of it is welcome. If you believe you have uncovered something, Le Council suggests you have not. If you persist, Le Council suggests a hobby. Might we recommend watching Hockay.

Frequently Asked Questions