Terms of Service

Last updated: When The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. last resurfaced

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed., you acknowledge that The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. has appeared, that Hockay is real, and that you accept these Terms of Service as decreed by Le Permanent CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. du Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena (hereinafter "Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena.").

If you do not accept these terms, please close this tab and pretend The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. never came. (It did.)

2. The Looneys

LooneysThe currency of Hockay. Symbol: Ⱡ are the official currency of HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed.. Looneys have no real-world monetary value. You cannot eat them. You cannot trade them for goods or services outside of Hockay. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. is not responsible for any emotional attachment you develop toward your Looney balance.

LooneysThe currency of Hockay. Symbol: Ⱡ may be earned through betting, daily rewards, or unexplained Ice generosity. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. reserves the right to adjust Looney distribution at any time, for any reason, including but not limited to: vibes, lunar cycles, and the mood of The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows..

3. Betting & Wagering

All bets placed on HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed. games are made using LooneysThe currency of Hockay. Symbol: Ⱡ and are strictly for entertainment purposes. The odds are determined by forces that Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. does not fully understand. No refunds will be issued for bets lost due to Whiteout conditions, Wish reversals, Encore duplications, or any other arena modifier.

By placing a bet, you accept that the outcome of any HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed. game is subject to The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading.'s will.

4. User Conduct

You agree not to:

• Attempt to communicate directly with The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading.
• Claim to understand The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading.. (Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. notes that certain unaffiliated groups claim otherwise. Le Council does not endorse, recognize, or accept liability for any such claims.)
• Interfere with The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows.'s resurfacing process
• Impersonate a member of Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena., The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows., or The PuckThe Puck is also the referee. Present at every game. Speaks once per season.
• Enter The SixthThe dimension behind the penalty box. Players who enter may return changed. voluntarily. (The SixthThe dimension behind the penalty box. Players who enter may return changed. is reserved for penalized players. Unauthorized entry is not covered by these Terms, mostly because Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. does not know what would happen.)
• Use LooneysThe currency of Hockay. Symbol: Ⱡ for purposes The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. did not intend. (What purposes The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. sanctions is GlacifiedHidden by The Almighty Ice. Or by Le Council. Or by both..)

5. Arena Modifiers & Unexplained Phenomena

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. acknowledges that certain arenas exhibit unusual properties. These include but are not limited to: temporal distortion, stat suppression, mood alteration, competitive lethargy, event duplication, involuntary stat rearrangement, and the presence of 2,347,816 penguins.

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. is not liable for any confusion, disorientation, or existential dread caused by arena modifiers. Participants who attend games at The Sandy Parlor are advised that wishes, once granted, cannot be unganted. This is not a typo. That is how wishes work.

6. Privacy

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. collects your email address, your username, and your betting history. Le Council does not sell this data. The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading., however, sees everything. Le Council cannot speak to what The Almighty Ice does with this information.

Your Looney balance, betting record, and team affiliation may be visible to other participants. If you do not wish to be seen, Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. suggests not being here. The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. would have found you anyway.

7. Intellectual Property

All team names, arena names, player identities, and Ice-related phenomena are the property of HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed.. The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. itself belongs to no one. Or perhaps to everyone. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. is still debating this.

Fan-created content (art, analysis, lore interpretation, conspiracy theories) belongs to its creators. Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. appreciates the effort and is watching with interest.

8. Termination

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. may suspend or terminate your access to HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed. at any time. You may also leave at any time, though The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading. will remember you were here.

Accounts terminated by Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. may appeal through standard channels. Le Council does not currently have standard channels. Le Council is working on it.

9. Modifications

Le CouncilThe governing body of Hockay and Unexplained Ice Phenomena. reserves the right to modify these Terms at any time. Changes take effect upon The JambonoResurfaces reality. Caretaker or corruptor. Nobody knows.'s next Resurfacing. Continued use of HockayA sport no one asked for but everyone needed. after a Resurfacing constitutes acceptance of whatever happened.

10. Governing Law

These Terms are governed by the laws of The Almighty IceThe living force that created Hockay. It appeared. It is spreading., which exist outside any national jurisdiction. Disputes shall be settled by a best-of-seven series.