O.D.D.S. Standard-Issue Field Cap
$20.00Issued to all personnel of the Office of Data-Driven Speculation upon completion of their probationary period. Now available to the public, because Le Council's budget requires it and because O.D.D.S. analysts kept losing theirs at arenas.
This is the cap worn by the people who calculate your odds. It is unstructured, like the data before they get to it. It is low profile, like an O.D.D.S. analyst at a party. It is made of 100% chino cotton twill, which is a fabric that does not ask questions and does not make promises. O.D.D.S. respects this in a textile.
The buckle closure adjusts to fit most heads. O.D.D.S. has run the numbers on head circumference distribution across the global Hockay fanbase and determined that "one size fits most" is statistically defensible. If you are an outlier, O.D.D.S. acknowledges your existence but cannot accommodate it at this time.
The O.D.D.S. crest is embroidered on the front. Wearing it in public signals that you believe in methodology. That you trust the models. That when someone asks you who's going to win tonight, you cite the line and not your gut.
O.M.E.N. supporters have been observed purchasing this cap ironically. O.D.D.S. has noted this. O.D.D.S. does not find it amusing. O.D.D.S. finds very little amusing. O.D.D.S. finds accuracy amusing. That is all.
Specifications:
- 100% chino cotton twill
- Unstructured, low profile
- Buckle closure
- One size fits most (Le Council verified this claim. Le Council is satisfied.)
Proceeds support the continued calculation of probabilities and the ongoing effort to prove that O.M.E.N. is wrong about everything. So far, the results are inconclusive. O.D.D.S. does not discuss this.